Desperate Freelancer

Sometimes, I dream of Holidays. I dream of places far far away I could visit. I have never traveled much and I wonder, If only I could, where I would go.

So I ask my friend Google to tell me which places are the best to see. I dig out lots of information about best trips made by youngsters with bulging eyes, about locations visited by grannies in overcrowded air-conditioned buses, about towns sources of infinite wonder and about landscapes that no camera will ever grip the core beauty.

The good news is that there are hundreds of them. Wonderful locations that are worth the trip.

The bad news is that there are hundreds of them. And you won't be able to see them all in your tiny short life.

As I am an old man now, I guess, I should be short-sighted. So I set up a list, for myself (let's dream, let's dream), but as well for you buddies, of the 10 places you should ab-so-lu-te-ly go before you have six feet of earth above your body.

Yes, it's subjective but as most of you are on holidays or on their way to be, I think it's time to give you some hint about what to do next year. Because this year, as usual, you are going to loose time and money in a messy low-cost crowded tourist complex somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

Just imagine : in 10 years, the price of oil will be so high, it will become prohibitive to fly. You have only 10 trips left to discover the world.

Here is my list :

1. Machu Pichu

The Inca City must be so fascinating to discover on the top of a mountain of the Andes Cordillera. So much 50 cents mysticism and tourism degradation could not spoil the fantastic sight on the landscape.

2. New York

If there should be only one town to visit, this is New York. New York, yet not a capital, is the capital of the capitals. The big town among all. The place where you could at last disguise yourself into Batman and be acclaimed for that. The place where thousands of migrants arrived dreaming of a better life and finally get pressed in the American factory.

The rest of United States is said to be full of rednecks or high tech gurus that are no worth meeting. Just avoid.

3. New Caledonian Lagoon

Centuries ago, France had the great idea to colonize a small Island in the Pacific called New Caledonia. It's said to be the most beautiful lagoon in the world. If there is a paradise to visit on Earth, I guess It's the closest version you can find.

4. Bollywood

It's the first Movie Industry in the world. It should be an amazing place to discover where they produce all these funny indian movies. Movies with people dancing and singing all along, movies so kitsch any normal European like me could barely retain himself to laugh, movies where bad guys still have a mustache. But movies made by the most respected and envied industry in a country of more than a billion individuals.

I just wonder how things take place there.

5. The Wolrd Park in china

Another trip direct to kitsch land. The World Park in China is a kind of Disneyworld where you can find miniaturized reproductions of all important monuments and tourist attractions of the Planet. Visit this park and it's kinda like you visited them all. No need to travel to see the very same stupid buildings and constructions just a little bit bigger. Anyway, the fun of it is to see them altogether.

6. Masaï Mara National Park

It's one of the latest big reserve where you can see wildlife, animals and all that stuff, as it were in the first days of mankind. It's located in Kenya and surely frightening it is to be chased by a rhino. But Masai Mara reserve is a must see before we slaughtered all these beasts for good.

7. Las Vegas

The city of vice, where you can lose your shirt, your pants, your wife and even your dog, but never you car. You will need it to go back home as the city is in the middle of desert. Las Vegas should be wonderful location to visit to understand how the fantasy of getting rich can turn masses into mad cucumbers.

8. Dubaï Islands

Money in Dubai allows every craziness. Actually they build artificial islands with odd shapes. I don't know exactly what their aim are, apart to prove they can do it, but It has some interest definitely.

9. Second Life

For once, stay at home, turn on your PC and visit a place that can be one of the most intriguing spot to discover : Second Life. In this virtual universe, you can discover your fellows living a virtual life and trying to copy the "real reality"... A deep sociological experience.

10. Cernobyl

In the end, I would go in one of the most polluted place of the world. Just to confirm how stupid mankind can be anywhere, and that there is absolutely no sense in traveling. We are all dumbasses everywhere.

That was my list.

What's yours ?

Usually, I am not very keen on the Tour de France, that bicycle event where guys in tight shorts pedal like hell for weeks.

It's dead boring and I don't see any point in watching these dudes riding a bike all day long just to have the pleasure to open a bottle of champaign in the end. If it's the final aim, why don't they just go to the local supermarket, buy one and open it right now ?

Though, this year, I found out It could bring some great innovation. Indeed.

Google has decided to open its service named Streetview in France for the Tour de France.

At last, we, French People, are going to be able to :

- spy our neighbors going to places they should be going
- to virtually drive across towns using wrong ways roads
- to discover unknown places of one of our beautiful country
- to visit the Capital whenever we want, avoiding pollution and noise
- try to make strange signs or pranks to have them discovered by others websurfers - and occasionnaly, try to pick up some Tour de France riders in action while crossing the country.. but at the speed they are going, I guess you would be very very lucky if you could just only see a bit of a bike. - watch cows watching bikers.

A lot of fun in perspective.

At least, you could spend hours trying to discover nice landscapes :

Or prestigious ones :

You can start your ride here.