Desperate Freelancer

A recent and funny post of Richard Stelmach about what will facebook look in 40 years made me do a lot of thinking.

Yep according to him, it will probably look like some sort of old guys' hideout :

Truly, most people contributing to such websites, and taking part in web communities are youngsters. Truly, they will get older and surely continue to use internet. Simply because it's in their generation's habits to do so.

But, I am sorry to inform you, young people, that the elders are already there.

Not only me with my little blog. But thousands and thousands of grandpas and grannies, who have definetly passed the age of playing with computers. Retired or not, abandoned by their childrens in nursing home or still fit and starting university again, seniors are getting lonely but are not bored with life yet. So they - we - are massvely coming on the network to see what it's up to.

Here are some interesting examples about the invasion of seniors on the net :

- You can find web communities dedicated to seniors :

- You have that old geriatric dude about 80 years old narrating his life on Youtube

- MySpace is no longer a place for the Youth : More than half of MySpace visitors are 35 or older.

Yes, we are coming and, as many things in this world, we are going to take the control of it. And the very bad news is that, in 40 years, you will be one of us.

A french friend of mine sent me a blogmeme that seems to be starting well on french blogosphere. The topic is "my best grandma trick".

I don't know if he will compile a book with all these techniques. I think not.

I believe there is could be brighter subject than this one for a hard-working executive or a blogger soaked with information. But I guess there could be something behind, like a scientifical experience about this "blogmeme" stuff. That's why the subjet is so common maybe. Anyway let's do it.

Let me introduce you my best (and I think my only one) "grandma trick".

Have you ever noticed how unconfortable it is to feel sweaty in your office ? As the hot days are coming, some people are starting to sweat in their suits. The heat make sometimes even people stink like pigs. And some others like the Devil himself.

If you don't have air-conditionning, it could be very aweful for those who still have a nose. You could get yourself ennemies for less.

Likewise, if you are not particularly sweaty as a person, you could find yourself exuding if you get into trouble with your work. Imagine, you get caught by your boss while you were surfing on the internet on the competitor's jobs offers website. Who wouldn't be dripping with sweat ? Or you are about to start the annual meeting of your company with an important presentation, on which you had been working all night and you just discover that your trousers are way too short and that they let people show you are wearing two socks of different colors. Would you be able to resist sweating buckets ?

So my grandma trick is to plaster your armpit with butter.

Yep. It works. The butter litteraly sucks the smell and sweat. If you do that every morning or anytime you feel sweaty, you will make the problem vanish for all the day.

Ok you may feel a bit greasy in your shirt in the beginning. But who knows ? And it's better than to poison your colleagues or to hang around in corridors with a wide wet halo under each arm.

Guess what ? It works for shoes too.

Ok, this was my grandma trick.

So to continue the meme, I am compelled to tag the paperbull , killthegoat, alister cameron, internetducttape and sucessfromthenest

Come on, let us know your best grandma trick.

Since I started this blogger job for Delconsulting, I turned into a web addict. Which is I believe most unuseful for someone of my age. I spend hours in front of my screen trying to understand what is this stuff they call Internet.

What is it for ? What can you find on it ? How much will it take to load this f&##$king page ?

I keep trying to discover with my friend Google things that are really worth the time spent to find them.

As I am much more than reasonably interested in wines, I recently investigate about this topic on the network. I first thought I would only dig out bullshit on how to make you own wine in your garage (after certifing you are not a food terrorist) or e-commerce websites trying to sell me disgusting plonk, or videos of dogs drinking wines and therefore being able to forecast the weather

But surprinsingly, there are a few things that did awake my interest. I found web communities of wine lovers. They are pretty cool services where you can record you favorite beverages, share you discoveries with others, rate or review wines, or find good products and retailers, and get to know mates to drink with.

Here are the 3 most interesting I found out :

They don't exactly offer the same services, but I think I will try all 3 for a while to see what they are really up to.

As for you, you have no excuse anymore to tell people you know nothing about wine.

Well, if you don't like wine, I am afraid this post has not much interest for you, and I do apologize for that. But, I guess that if you don't like wine, you are not really human and you can get off my blog you damn spambot !!!!

Young people are more valuable assets for a company. They are dynamic, efficient, motivated. They have things to prove.To themselves and to others. Everything remains possible for them and their career lays towards them.

Whereas, in most cases, the aging guys are starting to be considered as a pain. Those who didn't manage to reach top position in the management hierarchy I mean. Noone would ever say they get less efficient or useful, but everybody will think they are. Of course, not all companies will make you feel you are too creepy to work properly. Some have great senior management programs and attitudes. But some do consider elder as drags. Enough to make lot of people over 50 feel bad in their jobs.

In France, let me tell you that this problem is terrible, they are litterally pushing seniors off the game by wagons.

Fortunately, apart by being despised by your younger colleagues, they are many advantages of being an old fellow. If you company is not treating you well as a senior, here things you can do :

1. You can sleep during meetings

Not only be distracted or dream a little, but take a real nap. Everyone knows aging make digestion difficult.

2. You can forget to do something crucial

The more important and urgent it is, the better.

And you can even forget you forgot. So people could never blame you for that unless they want to argue for one hour or two.

All these memory losses are very convenient indeed.

3. You can lose a file

Not only on you computer (what you should be able to do daily, just go get a few attention from the computer guy), but a real file. One with clients' signatures in it, for example.

From time to time, it's good to see people getting excited and searching around like dogs in an empty meatloaf factory.

4. You can hold someone into a conversation for hours

Knowing perfectly he is facing an emergency in his job and doesn't not really have time to spend on this particularly boring matter.

Knowing perfectly he does not care about a word of what you said.

But knowing as well he won't be able to put an end to the conversation until he get really exasperated. Because he just doesn't want to miff you. Some reminiscence about what his mother told him to be the polite ways to handle his grandpa.

5. You can be late in any appointement, just because you took the stairs

The lift wasn't broken ? Gasp ! They finally manage to mend it. Not too late !

And here you can go on with your speech about lifts' poor condition and that will make such an interesting and time consuming debate (see point 4) that everyone will immediately forgive about your being late.

6. You can take some licence in your behavior with women

At some age, it is not considered as sexual harassment anymore. You just did not control what your hand was doing.

If the situation is turning into a real mess, the girl feeling injuried or so, and claming for retailition, you can always say something like "Oh sorry, I thought you were Nancy"

7. You can enter in a deep anger for no reason

That's another privilege of age to start being cranky.

Somebody you do not like ? Let you fury fall upon him whatever the pretext. He deserves it anyway.

Of course, If you behave like that, you will make your management feel right for their contempt of aging people. That won't be a good thing, neither for you nor for the other seniors that share your fate. That's why, you should never forget the last thing you can do that younger people can't : You can tell the truth.

Yes. You can forecast what going to happen. Because you went through similar situations thousands times before. You can warn people about the decisions they are going to make, you can tell them to what each option will really lead to.

And moreover you can tell it, because you have the guts to do so. You are not one of these shy babies not daring contradict the boss because he wants promotion.

That's is called experience.

And it's a damn good asset, isn't it ? Never let your company forget about that.

Well. And if like me, your memory is a for real an inextricable jigsaw, the only thing you should never forget is not to tell anyone that you don't remember a thing of all what you have learnt through years.